When online dating first came became a means of meeting a
potential partner, it was generally considered a last resort for individuals
who could not find success in real life. It has since become much more
culturally accepted, with 59% of Americans agreeing that "online dating is
a good way to meet people," according to a 2013 study by the Pew Research
Center. Everyone has either tried it or knows someone who has
tried it, and while online dating may have only produced horror stories at some
point, success has also become a tone associated with this venture. Success can be defined in many ways, but the traditional goal of online dating has
been the production of a lasting, committed relationship. I personally
know more than a handful of marriages that began online with this goal in mind.
While some doubters may wonder how many of those marriages will soon end
in divorce, many of these marriages have lasted beyond the initial two years
when most marriages collapse and actually grown into families with children.
Despite the rapid increase of online dating acceptance, the Pew Research
Center also reports "that among Americans who
have been with their spouse or partner for five years or less, fully 88% say
that they met their partner offline." This, perhaps, has more to do with the changing goals of online dating; it may have started off with serious goals in mind, but apps and services like Tinder and OkCupid are now considered methods for just hooking up with very little difference from. One of the individuals that Matthew Kessel interviews for his article explains that " '[he] was genuinely trying to meet people [he'd] click with... but [he] ended up having what would probably be considered a "high quantity of sex" ...as a side effect.' "
Kessel's own attempts at online dating is colored with what may be considered the common variety of deception in Self Presentation in Online Dating, where people make slight adjustments to their weight, height, and age. These misrepresentations may seem unnecessary, especially since online daters should expect to meet their potential partners in person, but it has become so common as to be an expected, even if the changes are relatively small. Kessel was advised to take it a step further and make additions to his interests in order to attract more women. Although this and bigger deceptions are not unheard of, even outside of the realm of online dating, they are also not so readily forgivable.
The most significant critique of online dating, though, is that is "all about 'look connections' and not heart connections," according to Daniel Tay's article. He goes as far as to say that "Tinder is... perfect for one-night stands," but he also claims that people are tired of it. This is where he introduces what may be the future of online dating, Pozee. The app was inspired by the Hawaiian tradition where a woman would wear a flower behind her right ear in order to indicate her single status. Wedding bands and engagements rings have long been worn to indicate that someone is taken, but this further narrows it down for users. The interface is very similar to Tinder, but users are geographically limited to a 50-meter radius (which is less than most city blocks) and, in order to communicate, they must actually walk up to each other since profiles and chatting and not possible through the app. These distinctions are key because they offer users access to a trove of people who are looking for a connection; where one may normally shy away, it might just give people the courage to make an introduction. However, they are able to bypass the step of taking the time to liking someone's online personality, only to discover they are incompatible in person. Although Pozee has not yet been widely launched, I like the direction of this shift which integrates our culture's reliance on technology and our need for a true "heart connection."
Kessel's own attempts at online dating is colored with what may be considered the common variety of deception in Self Presentation in Online Dating, where people make slight adjustments to their weight, height, and age. These misrepresentations may seem unnecessary, especially since online daters should expect to meet their potential partners in person, but it has become so common as to be an expected, even if the changes are relatively small. Kessel was advised to take it a step further and make additions to his interests in order to attract more women. Although this and bigger deceptions are not unheard of, even outside of the realm of online dating, they are also not so readily forgivable.
The most significant critique of online dating, though, is that is "all about 'look connections' and not heart connections," according to Daniel Tay's article. He goes as far as to say that "Tinder is... perfect for one-night stands," but he also claims that people are tired of it. This is where he introduces what may be the future of online dating, Pozee. The app was inspired by the Hawaiian tradition where a woman would wear a flower behind her right ear in order to indicate her single status. Wedding bands and engagements rings have long been worn to indicate that someone is taken, but this further narrows it down for users. The interface is very similar to Tinder, but users are geographically limited to a 50-meter radius (which is less than most city blocks) and, in order to communicate, they must actually walk up to each other since profiles and chatting and not possible through the app. These distinctions are key because they offer users access to a trove of people who are looking for a connection; where one may normally shy away, it might just give people the courage to make an introduction. However, they are able to bypass the step of taking the time to liking someone's online personality, only to discover they are incompatible in person. Although Pozee has not yet been widely launched, I like the direction of this shift which integrates our culture's reliance on technology and our need for a true "heart connection."